theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
