i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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