omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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