Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
