Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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