Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
BRING THE BAGELS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
