dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
