why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
