drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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