I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
