of course. lets lasso hookers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
