And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
