If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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