Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
