I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
