the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize