I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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