I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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