That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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