I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
