He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
