One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
