Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
