on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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