her vagine was all disorganized.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize