you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
