so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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