Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
