We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
