ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
