You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
