spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
