I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
