he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
