i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
