clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
