I just made out with a guy for $7.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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