Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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