ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
