Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
