you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
