I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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