apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
