This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
