my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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