You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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