the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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