Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize