Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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