Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
