My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
