He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
