i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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