: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
