YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
