Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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