i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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