I'm going to jail i love you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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