I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
