I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In America we eat man semen.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize