goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
