you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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