I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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