omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
