whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
