With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
