I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
