I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
ok first of all what the fuck
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