my sisters under your porch take her home
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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