Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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