it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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