Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
