Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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