You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
