Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
