Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
