okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
